Paranoid ClairvoyantI wanted it. And I did not allow direct acknowledgement, wrestling with the idea. More than want,more like need. And the absurdity of it! Why should I feel this craving,this magnetic necessity?He was more than I had ever allowed myself to hope for. And maybe he wasn't exactly angelic, but something within him was untouched, tucked safely away from the world.Sometimes I could see it; this stability, this utter sureness. And as I hoped for something else, any other explanation, I saw him struggling, trying not to let it touch his eyes. He'd always been ready to leave.My heart swelled past a unmanageable volume. rottednakedstripped of value. kissed on forehead"hey, you're beautiful"And hey, I wanted it, right?